- Is this a holiday gift or is there a reason behind your receiving it (in which case you may desire to return the favor) or is this an impromptu happy surprise?
- Is this from an ex with whom you'd like to rekindle the relationship?
- How do you feel about the person who sent it, and what are their intentions regarding the relationship?
Consider their (and your) feelings: How the relationship went and your previous communications may shed some light on their relationship objectives with you. I realize many may want to point-out the possibility of narcissistic love bombing when it comes to impromptu gifts, calls, messages and so on when regarding an ex.
Of course this is certainly a point to consider. However, this may not be love bombing and may just be their way of extending the proverbial olive branch by making the first move, so to speak. That said, it's usually best to take a moment to consider your as well as their feelings.
Consider their (and your) intentions: Receiving a present from an ex relationship partner can mean many things, so really giving yourself a moment to consider your (and their) intentions can also be helpful. Usually when a gift arrives, oftentimes flowers, it can be a gesture of reconnection. Of course you don't want to end up in some never-ending cycle of booty calls.
While some exes have a propensity to shower you with texts, calls, offers for dates, attention and of course gifts with intentions of pulling you back toward a relationship just for physical intimacy, this isn't always the case. Each relationship is unique, so it is typically best to spend some time thinking about your own intentions as well as their intentions. Do you want to rekindle the relationship?
Communicate: Obviously you'll want to reach back out with the accustomed thanks, but also remember to communicate your feelings. Is your ex looking to reconcile your relationship? And if so, are you interested in rekindling? Communicating your feelings with your partner in a calm, open, authentic manner can open the doors for sharing.
Now that you have spent some time considering your feelings as well as your intentions, it's time to initiate some healthy, clear communication with your partner. Remember, being honest with yourself regarding your feelings as well as being forthcoming with them can help build a fresh foundation for healthy shared communication between you.
It may be helpful to casually set a date to get together for some much-needed quality date time. While it's usually best not to approach it in the terms of "let's talk" as words like these can sometimes bring nervousness in both partners, it may be helpful to suggest getting together in a neutral space where you're both comfortable.
Rather than bringing up and rehashing old relationship issues, it may be helpful to make this initial date a more balanced conversation where you're catching up and simply spending quality time together. In other words, save the more intense stuff for another time, especially if this is the first get together after a longer separation. Setting clear boundaries as well as respecting theirs is also important to note. Remember, getting back together can feel exciting and can even make you feel nervous, so listen to your heart. After all, doesn't she deserve the same love and adoration you offer to your partner? of course she does. And above all else, it's helpful to remember to respect your heart.