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May. 15, 2023

Question Submitted: I think my girlfriend is a narcissist, but how do I know for sure?

Today's post comes to us thanks to a question submitted by a reader who believes that his girlfriend may be a narcissist, or at least behave like one more often than not. He'd like to know if she's a narcissist because he doesn't want to find himself wasting time in an unhealthy relationship. Totally understandable.

Here's the thing. While narcissistic personality is a real personality disorder, there's also the idea that narcissism can exist as a feature. For example, someone might have borderline personality and there may be narcissistic features. Not to mention the fact that at least some narcissism is said to exist in every human being (to a certain degree, anyway) as a mechanism for survival.

May. 12, 2023

Reader Suggestion: What Happens When A Narcissist Thinks They're An Empath?

Because narcissists are so unaware of their behavior and lack self-awareness, they're oblivious to how their behavior can impact other people. Also, it's speculated that some narcissists actually believe that they're doing or saying the right things, or are doing good, hence the belief that they're empaths.

May. 10, 2023

Question Submitted: What is trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding, also referred to as paradoxical attachment, is a theory defined as the attachment that a victim of abuse experiences with their abuser, especially when related to cycles of abuse. A term originally coined by Patrick Carnes, PhD, CAS in 1997, he describes trauma bonding as "dysfunctional attachments that occur in the presence of danger, shame, or exploitation." He considered trauma bonding to be one of 9 potential responses to trauma. Trauma bonds are common and are nothing to be ashamed of, as they result from one's mind looking for coping methods.

May. 04, 2023

When Your Partner Pulls Away: What Does It Mean?

When your significant other distances themselves from you, the reasons behind their behavior can vary depending on the circumstances. In any romantic relationship, there are instances where one or both parties may require some space. I understand that it can be worrisome, as you may start to wonder about your partner's thoughts or actions. This can lead to a perceived emotional gap between the two of you, prompting you to crave communication such as a text message, a FaceTime chat, or a brief coffee date to prevent further detachment. You may be sitting around, literally watching the clock, worrying when they will reach back out to you.

May. 01, 2023

Reader Submission: My ex just sent me a gift, how should I feel?

Most of my friends and clients agree: giving a present is the easy part of gift-giving. You're filled to the brim with love and adoration for those closest to you, so you're likely often seeking opportunities to show how you care. But what about receiving a present? That can oftentimes feel great, but sometimes confusing, especially if it's coming from someone with whom you've broken-off a romantic relationship. In this article we'll go over how this can sometimes take us by pleasant surprise, and also the ways we might address the situation.

Apr. 28, 2023

Reader Submission: Help, I'm In The Booty Trap! How To Respond To A Booty Call?

Everyone I've ever met has experienced at least one booty call in their lifetime. Booty calls can come in the form of a phone call, a text, or an email. They can even come in the form of an invitation to spend time together such as on a date, albeit the invitee is usually not aware that the person who issued the invitation is only interested in said booty, and nothing more.

Apr. 21, 2023

Question Submitted: My ex tested me, now what?

The feelings that come up when an ex texts you after a breakup can vary widely depending on the circumstances of the breakup and the nature of the relationship. How the relationship ended can also play a role. You may feel anything from surprise to relief, or even anger.

Receiving a text from an ex after a breakup can be unexpected and may even catch you off guard. If the breakup was acrimonious, painful or hurtful on either ends, receiving a text from your ex may trigger feelings of anger or resentment. You may feel like they are trying to manipulate you or reopen old wounds. You may feel triggered in any number of ways, as well.

Apr. 21, 2023

Religion & Spirituality: Why Are People So Critical?

Understanding that God has different names and terminology depending on where in the world one may live, the language that one may speak, one's religion and/or what beliefs one is exposed to, etc., it's usually pretty clear that people tend to have their own ways of phrasing statements about their beliefs. But regardless, it's still clear that they're referring to God if having a conversation regarding the subject of spirituality.