Today I want to share some thoughts with you that have been on my mind lately, prompted by the recent docuseries on Amazon called "Desperately Seeking Soulmate" and the Netflix series titled "Escaping Twin Flames."
These shows have deeply affected me, and I feel it is important to address a few things. Please keep in mind that what I'm expressing here in in this post is a matter of opinion.
As many of you know, I'm a relationship coach and writer. I want to make it clear from the start that I do not offer any type of twin flame services. I do, however, believe in soulful connections and the transformative power of love.
A few years ago, I began to notice a shift in the way people were describing their twin flame relationships, especially on the platforms I use. What were once thought of as beautiful, (healthy) spiritual connections started sounding more like toxic relationships.
This concerned me, so I started posting content on narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships to raise awareness. My hope had been that those who might be sticking it out in unhealthy situations or sitting in wait for a relationship that might never happen would wake up, so to speak. However, in doing so, I was met with more than a little pushback.
Then about two years ago, a well-known psychologist on YouTube highlighted the potential toxicity of twin flame relationships. She explained how the term could be weaponized by narcissists, using it as an excuse for unhealthy behavior.
For example, "I treat you like garbage, but you have to stick with me and love me unconditionally no matter what I do because we're twin flames, sweetheart."
When I saw that video I thought to myself, "Finally, someone besides me sees it." So, I shared that video along with other similar content to shed light on the potential dangers of staying in toxic relationships under the guise of a label. Vice News and other media outlets also began talking about the subject as well.
Fast forward to a year ago, and another prominent YouTube personality exposed the history of Elizabeth Clare Prophet, the person who coined the term "twin flame." He explained how her Church of Universal & Triumphant had been labeled a cult decades ago.
I did my research, and I found old newspaper articles supporting his claims, and for informational purposes, I shared them. I also came across other content creators whose opinions meshed with mine regarding toxic relationships, narcissism and spiritual labels, and so on. So, I shared that content as well.
However, my efforts were met with heavy pushback. Some even criticized my content as "low vibrational" and urged me to remove it. The pushback escalated to a point that caused me a lot of stress.
Now remember, I am not and have never been in any twin flame "group." BUT the resistance was so strong that I felt it was in my best interest to make certain redactions and I took down some of the posts. It became clear that discussing the potential toxicity of unhealthy relationships labeled as twin flame was a very sensitive topic.
Now, before I continue, I want to emphasize that I'm not calling anyone, including Elizabeth Clare Prophet, a cult. Still, after watching the Netflix series on escaping twin flames, where families are torn apart under the guise of "love & light," mothers who are existing from moment to moment in hopes of just a single text just to know their child is okay, and siblings who are separated in the name of supposed unconditional love, I felt compelled to speak up.
I remember back in the day, twin flame personalities and coaches encouraged us to keep the fact that we'd met our twin flame, or that we were even on a spiritual journey to ourselves because "unless others have experienced it themselves, they just won't understand." And, for a bit, I too believed that.
Then I thought about it and realized if we're on a spiritual journey, why WOULDN'T we share that with those closest to us? When we have wonderful news, don't we want to share it with loved ones, shout it from the mountain tops? Those closest to us like our family love us and want the best for us. They want to see us happy, right? So why wouldn't we share our experiences with them? While those close to us might not fully understand something we happen to share with them, the sign of enlightenment is an open mind. So, why wouldn't we want to at least LISTEN to what those closest to us have to say about our spiritual journey?
With that said, I encourage everyone to communicate with loved ones, especially family and those closest to us. Our family members and friends are in our proverbial corner, wanting the best for us. They've known us our whole lives and only want to see us enjoy happy, fulfilling lives.
It's a hell of a lot more than disheartening to see in that series, families being torn apart and people giving themselves permission to wait around in a one-sided or unrequited relationship, or a relationship based on limerence. It is unnerving to see people giving themselves permission to engage in unwanted pursuit behaviors, or to cut-off connections with loved ones - all under a toxic mindset cloaked in "so-called love and light."
It's my opinion that autonomy, healthy boundaries, mutual respect, and compassion are some of the foundations of real love. Healthy love.
In closing, I believe in love, genuine connections, and the power of open communication. I wish everyone love.
Love, Helena xo