Question Submitted: My boyfriend broke up with me, how does he feel?

It's important to remember that when we discuss running or runners in the terms of a relationship, we consider running to me more of a state of mind. There are different types of running in relationships. There's the physical running of leaving the relationship or breaking up, and then there's the emotional running through which your partner pulls away.

Now that he has ended your relationship you're probably thinking he has entered the "running mode." This may be true. But remember, it's important to be respectful of their boundaries just as you would hope that your partner will be respectful of your own in return.

You may find yourself feeling blindsided by the breakup or even ruminating over the happier times of your relationship and wondering why he has pulled away. It's my take that this is a normal thing for anyone to experience, especially at the beginning of a breakup. However, it is important to remember that he too has feelings just as you. He is likely missing you as well, at least to some degree. It's important for you not to allow yourself to wallow in sadness, and rather understand how he is feeling. Understanding how he's feeling can help you begin to move forward with your own life in a healthy way.

We have previously discussed the way a man thinks, but how might he feel after breaking up with a woman? It's difficult to generalize how every man feels when breaking up with a woman, as each person's emotions and experiences are unique. However, some common emotions that men may experience during and after a breakup include experiencing the following emotions.

Sadness:  A breakup can be a significant loss, and men may feel sad or depressed as a result. A man may feel sad after a breakup for a variety of reasons. One common reason is the loss of a significant relationship in his life. This relationship may have provided him with emotional support, companionship, and intimacy, and the breakup can feel like a significant loss. Additionally, a man may feel sad if he still has feelings for the woman and is struggling to come to terms with the end of the relationship.

The sadness may also be compounded by the stress and uncertainty that can come with a breakup, such as adjusting to a new routine and dealing with practical issues like moving out or dividing belongings. Overall, a breakup can be a difficult and emotional experience, and it's natural for a man to feel sad during this time.

Guilt:  If the man initiated the breakup or if he feels responsible for the relationship's demise, he may experience feelings of guilt. For example, if he was unfaithful, emotionally distant, or if he initiated the breakup, he may feel guilty for causing the relationship to end. Even if the breakup was mutual or initiated by the woman, a man may still feel guilty if he feels like he could have done more to save the relationship or if he has unresolved feelings of regret.

Guilt can be a challenging emotion to deal with, and it's important for a man to acknowledge and process these feelings in a healthy way, such as by talking to a therapist or a trusted friend. It's also important to remember that a breakup is rarely one person's fault, and it's okay to take time to reflect on what you can learn from the experience and move forward in a positive way.

Regret:  Men may regret ending the relationship, especially if they still have feelings for the woman. This regret can stem from a variety of reasons, such as missing the woman's company, realizing that he still has feelings for her, or feeling like he didn't give the relationship a fair chance.

Regret can also arise if the man believes that he could have done something differently to save the relationship, such as communicating more effectively or being more supportive. Dealing with feelings of regret can be challenging, as it can be difficult to know whether or not to try to reconcile with the woman or move on. However, it's important to take time to reflect on what you've learned from the relationship and use that knowledge to make healthier decisions in future relationships.

Anger:  Some men may feel angry during a breakup, either at the woman, themselves, or the situation. A man may feel anger after breaking up with a woman for a variety of reasons. He may feel angry at the woman for ending the relationship or for the way that she handled the breakup.

Alternatively, he may feel angry at himself for the role he played in the relationship's end or for not seeing the warning signs that the relationship was in trouble. Anger can also stem from feelings of rejection or hurt, especially if the man still has feelings for the woman or if he feels like he invested a lot in the relationship.

Regardless of the source of the anger, it's important for a man to process these feelings in a healthy way, such as by talking to a therapist, practicing self-care, or seeking support from friends and family. Anger can be a challenging emotion to deal with, but with time and patience, it's possible to move forward in a positive way.

Relief:  In some cases, a man may feel relieved after a breakup, especially if the relationship was unhappy or unhealthy.  A man may feel relief after breaking up with a woman, particularly if the relationship was unhappy, unfulfilling, or toxic. In such cases, ending the relationship can be a way for the man to reclaim his sense of self-worth, freedom, and independence.

Additionally, a man may feel relieved if he has been struggling with doubts about the relationship or if he has been feeling trapped or suffocated in the relationship. Breaking up can provide an opportunity for the man to explore his own interests, pursue personal growth, and find happiness on his own terms. It's important to remember that feeling relief after a breakup is a normal and valid emotion, and it doesn't mean that the relationship wasn't meaningful or important in its own way.

Loneliness:  After a breakup, men may feel lonely or isolated, especially if they relied on the relationship for emotional support. A man may feel loneliness after breaking up with a woman because he has lost a significant source of companionship, emotional support, and intimacy. Even if the relationship was unhappy or unfulfilling, the man may still feel a sense of emptiness and isolation without the woman's presence in his life.

Additionally, a man may feel lonely if he has been struggling with feelings of rejection or abandonment, especially if he was deeply invested in the relationship. Loneliness can be a challenging emotion to deal with, as it can trigger feelings of sadness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. However, it's important for the man to remember that he is not alone in his experience, and that there are resources available, such as therapy or support groups, to help him navigate these feelings and move forward in a positive way.

It's important to note that everyone experiences emotions differently, and men may not necessarily feel all of these emotions after a breakup. It's also important to give yourself time and space to process your emotions after a breakup, whether you're a man or a woman.

How should a woman respond to a man when he ends a relationship with her?

When a man ends a relationship with a woman, it can be a difficult and emotional time for both parties involved. Here are three ways that a woman can respond in a healthy and constructive way.

Take time to process your feelings:  It's natural to feel a range of emotions after a breakup, including sadness, anger, and confusion. It's important for the woman to take time to process these feelings and to focus on self-care, such as by engaging in activities that bring her joy and spending time with supportive friends and family.

It's also important to avoid making rash decisions, such as contacting the man immediately after the breakup, as this can prolong the healing process and make it harder to move forward. This is particularly important if you feel your partner has ghosted you as some men use ghosting or going radio silent with no communication as a way to end a relationship.

Reflect on the relationship:  After the initial shock of the breakup has passed, it can be helpful for the woman to reflect on the relationship and to try to identify any patterns or behaviors that may have contributed to the breakup. This can involve being honest with herself about her own strengths and weaknesses, as well as seeking feedback from trusted friends or a therapist.

While it's important to avoid blaming herself or taking on all of the responsibility for the breakup, reflecting on the relationship can help the woman learn from the experience and make healthier choices in future relationships. It also may be that he pulled away to reflect on the relationship himself, in which case it's helpful to be respectful of his need for space.

Maintain healthy boundaries:  While it's natural to want to stay in contact with the man after the breakup, it's important to maintain healthy boundaries and to give both parties space to heal. This can involve avoiding social media stalking, resisting the urge to contact the man, and focusing on building a fulfilling life outside of the relationship.

Take care of yourself:  It is important to care for yourself which can be especially difficult during a painful period in your life. Remember, you need time to reset and regroup, as well. Self-care and monitoring your overall health plays a vital role in your wellbeing. Take a spa day, go for a walk, reconnect with nature, ground and center yourself. 

It's my take that those who have your best interest at heart such as your friends, family, loved ones, etc., will want the best for you and will be a helpful in your support structure. While support groups exist in where one can easily connect with others along their love journeys, it's important to keep in mind that your main focus should be on you. Some groups promote the idea that perpetual cycles of sadness is normal. It is not normal to experience ongoing pain, which is why it is important to seek proper therapy when needed.

It's also important to communicate clearly and respectfully if the man reaches out, setting boundaries and expectations for what kind of contact is appropriate moving forward. By maintaining healthy boundaries, the woman can focus on her own healing and growth, and create a healthy foundation for future relationships.


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